Outside
by velociraptor52
Summary: Each character will tell his\her story about who they actually are in the gang.
1. Outside

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. I just like borrowing them.  
  
A/N: This is my first attempt at a Xander story. Please R &R!  
  
Summary: Xander's always on the outside. Now it's time he tells his story.  
  
Outside  
  
When I think of superpowers, the first thing that comes into my mind is having special powers to save the world. Protect the innocent.  
  
That's partly true. My friend's are special. They have powers people can't even imagine. They're different from you and me. Look at Buffy. She's the Slayer. Super strength. That's what she has. She gets to dust vamps, and kill demons. She gets gratitude from her friends for saving their live everyday.  
  
And Willow, my best friend, she's a witch. A mighty powerful witch, too. She can make objects appear out of nowhere, and can skin a person alive. Trust me, you don't want to get her mad.  
  
Anya, my ex-girlfriend, she used to be a vengeance demon. Right now, if she were a vengeance demon, she could grant anyone's wishes. And she could teleport, too.  
  
For as long as I can remember, I always used to wish that I had superpowers of my own. But now that time has passed. Here we are, in the final battle, risking our lives to protect the innocent. My friends are actually using their powers to save the world. I'm just saving people from ever building a house with their own hands, and installing a new kitchen.  
  
I've always been the sideman, watching from a safe distance, and always getting dates with demons. When something happens to me, it's not special. I'm not jumping into portals, or risking my life for someone. I'm the plain man in the group. For once, I just want to know what it's like to be inside the group, and not outside. 


	2. Chosen

A/N: There were some complaints that Xander's story wasn't long. I know that. I'm not that good at Xander fics. This chapter will be slightly longer, and it will be a different character.  
  
Chosen  
  
That word.  
  
It's always important to me. Important to all the Potential Slayers, too. All my life, I figured that I'd be choosing my own path for my life, but I was chosen for something more important than your everyday job. I was chosen to be the Slayer.  
  
True, I may have hated it in the beginning, but I have grown up. I have grown to like my job, maybe even love it. And now it may be one of the girls' job. One of the girls' gift.  
  
But they don't realize how hard it is to be the Slayer. The gang. Everyday, I have to make the important decisions. I have to organize the team; I have to make the attack plans for every fight we face. I have to constantly risk my life, knowing that my friends are safe, and knowing that the Potentials are alive. When I wake up in the morning, I always think, 'Will this be the day that I die? That the world will end?' Us Slayers, and Potential Slayers, lead a different life. We go down an unknown path that may end as we continue with our lives, like what we are doing now. Sure, our path may lead to a good end, but there are too many bad ends that sneak up on us.  
  
We have lost too much Potentials. Too many innocent girls who didn't pick this for their future. They were picked by destiny. They were picked randomly, and taken out of their families. They probably wanted to be a doctor, or a writer, when they were young, and dreamt about their life in the future. They probably knew that they'd be safe, and have a normal life. How wrong they are. They just had no idea that they would someday hold the fate of the world in their hands, like what happened to me a couple years ago. That they would get chosen to be the next Slayer.  
  
Even though the Slayer line ends with Faith, there are still two Slayers. There are still two people fighting for the world, fighting to save more innocent lives, fighting to save an innocent girl's future. I have died two times. And each time I have been brought back. I live in a world different from what I wanted to live in, a world where I'm surrounded by friends who care about me. But no matter what happens, no matter what the circumstances are, I will still long to lead a normal life. I will still wonder what it would be like if I weren't chosen.  
  
Please review! 


	3. Magic

A/N: People really seem to like these short stories/chapters. Just in case you didn't know, the first chapter was about Xander, and the second one was about Buffy. This chapter will be about Willow.  
  
Magic  
  
Even though Buffy says that I'm the strongest, besides her, in the gang, I feel like she's got it all wrong. She keeps on pushing me. Making me want to do magic. But I can't do that. Magic is what started the whole incident where I went evil. I can't be hooked on magic again.  
  
So I try to get the courage to tell her, "I'm not that strong," but she's my friend, and I can never disappoint her. The thing is, I'm just strong at magic, but even still I falter if I need to do a spell, even if it is a simple, non-harmful spell. The memory of last year with Tara and Warren makes me think that I'll go off the deep end again, and start killing again. Or destroy the world. My confidence is shaken ever since last year, and even though I try to tell myself that it'll be okay, I'm still weak.  
  
Giles is still there for me, though. He can help me if I do get evil again, and I start destroying the world, but still, he's no match for me. I almost killed him last year. That's something that I'll never forget.  
  
Kennedy doesn't know what I can do. So far, I've only shown her my good side, with the good magic, but I know as the fight against the First Evil continues, I'll have to bring out my bad side, along with the bad magic. I can't risk that if I do get bad again. But I'll always be there for her, good or bad, and she'll always be there for me.  
  
Then I start to think, what if it happens again? Each night, I have the same dream: Kennedy gets shot, I get angry, and I kill the person who shot her. I know Tara is watching out for me, too, wherever she is, but sometimes it just isn't enough. Love sometimes isn't enough to change a person from their evil ways. You've got to touch their heart, and their soul, to make them ever change from being evil.  
  
The vengeance is still a part of me, including Tara's love. The guilt of killing Warren will always haunt me for as long as I live. Sometimes I guess you can't change who you are, and what you are.  
  
And even though I'm redeemed, I guess magic will always be a part of me, too.  
  
A/N: I know some of these stories are short, but I'm trying. Anyway, please review! 


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